The denizens of The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom are waiting for me to save Hyrule, but I've been slightly preoccupied. A generous breakdown of how I've spent my time so far is something like this: 5 percent on main storyline, 10 percent on side quests, 85 percent on deranged, barely working experiments--like a little kid glueing Legos together. I haven't been a particularly proficient builder. I attached a rocket to a tree trunk, thinking I could magic-carpet myself across the map; I flew off the back immediately. I created what I thought was a sort of "air raft," trunks with fans on every conceivable corner to hover me away; it was as effective as a handful of helium balloons.